What is it about games? You know, the pleasure of winning one? And how about the feeling you get when you lose? Do you like being on both ends equally? Honestly. I love games - table games, especially, but there is a place in my heart I've noticed in the last year that I don't like when it comes to losing games. Apparently I have taken an unhealthy pleasure (read: pride) in winning board games on a regular basis. Lately though, I haven't been winning that much. In fact, I'm losing alot. What's going on? Am I brain dead from being a housewife? Time to update my resume.
Seriously though, I have this very ugly thing going on inside of me. If I lose too many times, there is an uncomfortableness that starts creeping up the inside of my gut. Almost a churning. I don't want to lose! I want to win! I can't lose! I've GOT to win. Ahhhhhhhh! Good grief! I know, I know. I shouldn't take it so seriously. It's just a game. I've got to be humble enough to lose. I know all that. I'm just being honest here. It ain't pretty is it?
maybe it strikes at the part of being a kid at school -- that sense/ fear of impending failure; or not quite being "up to par" --when you're 60 you won't care anymore...but mid-life's a crazy time of vulnerability?
ReplyDeleteAt 60 I won't care anymore? I hope you're right!
ReplyDeleteI don't care any more. I use to lots. But now, it just a matter of "i'm playing a game with others." It's all about time with them. Don't have to prove how smart I am..cup in some games I am, on a good day, and in other games I'm not, on a good day. It's about the time with others, the conversations, etc.
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